The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
2012
Don Miguel Ruiz’s The 4 Agreements is one of my all-time favorite books. So much so that I keep buying copies of it, as I keep giving it to people who I think will benefit from it or who will love it as much as I do. It is the only book that I often have 2 copies of on my bookshelf. I think that it contains some very basic and important governing principles to use in life to attain a deeper level of inner happiness.
This deceptively simple book deals with deep and soulful issues. The Four Agreements is written in a simple, easy to understand style and is very concise, so much so that you could read it in a day. But it is a book best read slowly, with time in between readings to let the thoughts expressed come deeper into light. It’s one of those books that you read and it feels like you know it all already. Probably because deep down you do. It speaks to a deeper part of ourselves and contains truths that we resonate with and understand on a deep level.
It’s a feel good book, as it clears up common confusions we may have and gives us basic guidelines that work to interact with each other and the world around us. This has been one of my guiding books for many years. It contains basic truths and explanations on life. Often in daily life I see situations and issues that Don Miguel Ruiz brings up in this book and can clearly see how just following these simple agreements one could avoid many hurts and misunderstandings.
The 4 Agreements
A brief synopsis and explanation of each of the 4 agreements:
1. Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
This means not to lie or say things that may hurt another person and not to speak thoughtlessly, carelessly or aggressively. By doing so we can hurt others which in turn hurts ourselves.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
In this we realize that other people’s actions are a reflection only of them. Anything anyone says to us is filtered through their thoughts and outlook and therefore is never an objective opinion, and so not accurate. The thoughts that others express tell more about themselves and how they view the world.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness or drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
We never know exactly what others are thinking, their motivation or what is influencing their thoughts, what memories they are drawing from or their beliefs and world views. Never assume or jump to conclusions about another’s behavior and in doing this we can prevent much conflict.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
In every moment do your best. Do no more or less than your best. If you try to do more than your best you will spend more energy than needed and in the end your best will not be enough. By doing your best you will live intensely, you will be productive, you will be doing the best for yourself and those around you and this will make you feel happy and fulfilled.
The Toltec Path to Freedom
The dream of the planet is just a dream. It is not even real. If you go into the dream and start challenging your beliefs, you will find that most of the beliefs that guided you into the wounded mind are not even true. You will find that you suffered all the years of drama for nothing. Why? Because the belief system that was put inside your mind is based on lies.
That is why it is so important for you to master your own dream; that is why the Toltecs because dream masters. Your life is the manifestation of your dream; it is an art. And you can change your life anytime if you aren’t enjoying the dream. Dream masters create a masterpiece of life; they control the dream by making choices. Everything has consequences and a dream master is aware of the consequences.
To be Toltec is a way of life. It is a way of life where there are no leaders and no followers, where you have your own truth and live your own truth. A Toltec becomes wise, becomes wild, and becomes free again.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements
